seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
