Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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