His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
