his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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