this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
