The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
