Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
