Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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