I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
