...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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