I'm drive I can fine osifer
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
