It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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