He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
