Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
