If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
