i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize