he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Come on in and take your pants off
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