I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
