No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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