We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
