Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
