I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize