yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
