So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
