He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We talked him into tasing himself.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
