I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
