We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize