so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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