mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
