Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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