Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
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