she was so not down for the gang bang
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
