dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
