Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize