her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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