just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
