i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
