I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
