How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
