Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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