So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
