youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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