No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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