Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
