Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
