it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
