i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
