i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
