respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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