I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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