She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
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