Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize