I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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