You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
