HIV tests are more positive than that guy
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
