Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
