I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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