dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Come see our sink grown plant.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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