4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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