I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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