he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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