Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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