Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
