grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i would punch a child for taco bell
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize