There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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